SPIDER (a sketchy February)

I know what I become
when I have reached home.
I enthrone the music of these problems
The genesis of my discomfort,
I am not an ally to trouble
so why all of these nightmares?

If I choose what I become
It is not a dam,
that carries the hurt of before
or what should have healed the pain.
I become a spider
a six-legged creature who contemplated death.

If I become what you imagine
then I won’t be an insect
that creates the word architecture.
I will remember where the scars are
I will remember the pain, the tears
I will remember that you caused me a lot.

So before I become what I become
know that I will knit laughter
and make a color out of happiness.
If where you scare me exist, I will erase it with new memoirs
I will love again, only that
It won’t be you.

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